Standing up for truth in real estate ads!

During the week a friend emailed me through a link to a share accommodation advertisement on Gumtree. The advertisement was written by a tenant looking for a flatmate, and provides a truthful yet comical overview of the property, its features and even the flaws. From the advert:

North Bondi – crap place. Great location and view

Ludicrously overpriced, with carpet stained like an infant’s undies and a truly appealing paint job…. no, I meant a peeling paint job…… this 2 bedroom top floor North Bondi flat is perfect for the blind and/or less discriminating flatmate. Your potential bedroom is unfurnished although it does have the requisite four walls and ceiling so that’s a plus.

The bathroom has a bath which manages to retain water so it’s fulfilled its destiny. The kitchen has all the essentials but not a bit more and the place is furnished and decorated in a style best described as “junkie minimalism.”

So why move in? I’m glad you asked. The view and location is about as good as you’ll get as you’ll see from the photos. That is the view from the room. Impressive huh? And there’s a small balcony too. Plus, the hovel is within easy walking distance to shops and right at the start of the 333 bus route so getting in to the city is a piece of p1ss! You get a seat every time and you can laugh at the losers having to stand (it’s the small, petty things that keep me happy). And it’s got internet, washing machine and all the essential stuff.

If you have a designer’s eye and wish to play down the trailer trash aesthetic, please feel free to make the changes. I have absolutely zero attachment to the current furnishings and would welcome someone with the ability and desire to polish this turd.

As for me, I work (as little as humanly possible) in media/marketing ergo, I’m a complete tosser. On a positive note, I am house broken and have no criminal record. The rest – 33 years old, male (as if you couldn’t tell), likes boy stuff such as televised sport, the consumption of take away food and I’ve recently discovered the joys of adding fabric softener to my washing. What a day that was!

I don’t mind who I live with but I would prefer not to live with a couple. Nothing personal against the loved up but you people make me sick. To live with that is.

If you happen to be a girl, believe it or not, my past two flatmates were girls and I dare say that we got along quite well. Hell, I’ll even put you in touch with them if ya wanna check my bonafides.

Standing up for truth in real estate ads, I humbly hand it over to you.

I thought this ad was an absolute cracker and wouldn’t be surprised if it resulted in a higher level of enquiry than an ad written in a more traditional way. We’ve all been in the position where you’ve inspected a property and found the agent has been a little creative with their property advertisement. This is proof it is possible to market flawed properties through the truth.